Thriving In Tribes
In the US the nuclear family, i.e., parents and their children, form the basic social organization and unit in society. However, humans did not evolve living in such a small group. HUMANS THRIVE IN TRIBES.
That was true hundreds of years ago and is still true today. Wake up call => WE STILL HAVE CAVEMAN BRAINS LIVING IN OUR MODERN DAY SOCIETY. You may dress all fancy, eat a macrobiotic diet, and sit in front of an amazing tool called the computer, but you still have the same basic drives that your unsophisticated ancestors had.
One of the takeaways from this knowledge is that each of us needs people in our lives other than our significant other to connect with, challenge us, learn from, laugh with. And don’t even get me started on raising kids without a connected, supportive, in-person, and involved extended community around to support, guide, teach, entertain, feed.
TAKE TIME TODAY TO REFLECT ON YOUR TRIBES. Do you have groups of people with whom you feel supported, connected, or challenged in a good way? Or groups you can just totally let your guard down and be yourself.
These tribes provide what psychologists call SOCIAL CURRENCY, which I may touch on in the future because it’s so valuable for people in the workplace but also powerful in life overall.
But going back to your tribes, here are a few categories from my list of tribes that I encourage you to reflect on. Ideally, you want multiple groups in your life that collectively form your extended community. Ask yourself, “Do I have tribes where I...”
Learn from other members
Feel members see me, really see the real me, and fully accept me
Have stimulating conversations
Feel I can lean on members during difficult milestones like losing a parent
Share a common heritage (ethnic, geographical, socioeconomic, etc.)
Have fun (game night, poker, exercising, etc.)
Share similar work
Share values, like community service, curiosity, etc.
Share common interests, like hiking, cooking, dancing
Physically see members like people in my neighborhood
Have a shared history or experience (e.g., college, childhood)
Xyz (fill in the blank based on what is important to you)
I have worked with clients, including financially successful clients, who have not made the effort to develop their tribes. They can feel alone, disconnected, not supported, like something is missing in their lives. If you fall into this category, please reach out. Your life can and will be so much richer, in non-monetary ways, with your tribe rallying around you. Don’t spend another day, week, year without satisfying the primal side of you that thrives in tribes.