The resilient human
I’m curious - has your week gone exactly as planned? If you said yes, then I would guess that you are not truly planning out your day or are in denial. The ability to be ready to effectively respond to life’s challenges, whether minor ones such as not having an ingredient for a meal, or more serious ones like a loved one’s illness, is referred to as one’s resilience.
Are you easily kicked off balance by unexpected things? Do you struggle to be present in interactions, or find it challenging to keep emotions under control? If so, you could likely use a booster in resiliency skills.
Reut Schwartz-Hebron, a former Army Lieutenant turned author and trainer, teaches people the neuroscience of resilience, which is a fancy way of saying she uses science-backed methods to show people how to build resilience. Her approach aligns with mine, in that she teaches both quick fixes when in the moment of stress, as well as the longer term habits to build a foundation of resilience.
Some highlights include:
In the moment resiliency: See things as they are. Park your expectations and bring a non-judgemental sense of curiosity to the situation. Accepting things as they are without resenting that the situation isn’t different is a great first step. Simple, but not easy.
Long term resiliency foundation:
Build fungible vs. domain-specific skills: fungible skills can be applied in a variety of situations whereas domain-specific skills are not transferable easily as they specify “if x happens, do Y”. For example, when you are feeling triggered, noticing where you feel the discomfort in your body is a fungible skill.
Practice accepting that more than one “truth” is possible. How might “A” and “B” be possible? Can the seemingly contradicting truths co-exist? Practice seeing the full complexity of an issue, building your tolerance for uncertainty, and responding in a flexible way.
Like a muscle, the more you practice these resiliency skills, the stronger you will get at them. Eventually, your brain will literally rewire the way it responds to life’s challenges. If you are interested in learning more, join the Neuroscience & Difficult Change group on LinkedIn that Reut and I are part of: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/13725904/
Warmly,
Bijal
The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.
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Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC