20 Lessons Learned from 2020
This year has had lots of up and downs, with more than a handful of challenges. As we close out this year, I’m choosing to look at these challenges as OPPORTUNITIES to grow instead of SNAFUS. The formula I personally use to integrate growth after challenges looks like this: Challenge + Reflection = Progress. (Yes, I’m a bit of a nerd so I do love formulas. But formulas allow us to get to point B faster, rather than reinventing the wheel each time we encounter a similar situation. At least that’s my justification!)
Maybe I’m a slow learner, as I’m sure this year was not the first time I could have learned these lessons! But in any case, here are the 20 lessons I learned in 2020:
We cannot really control anything, but we can INFLUENCE more than we think. This includes our health, business, relationships, and more.
In tough times, we can lean into our STRENGTHS, even more, to help ourselves feel effective.
Even when things aren’t going well, HOPE is the necessary ingredient we need to keep going.
We can live our VALUES regardless of the chaos going on around us. We don’t need society, our employer, or our family to recognize or acknowledge it either, but it sure feels good when they do.
When we practice LOVING DETACHMENT, it does not mean we do not care for people anymore. It means not letting others’ behavior determine our feelings or actions.
Where we put our ATTENTION makes all the difference in our outlook. Are we focusing on what’s good and right?
We can choose the part of our IDENTITY that will serve us given our current circumstances. Just like a diamond cannot show all its sides at the same time, we can purposefully choose the side of ourselves to amplify in any given situation.
HABITS really do matter. Taking the time to build supportive, healthy habits before the “fit hits the shan” is helpful.
When the world around us is chaotic, a regular ROUTINE (one for weekdays and one for weekends) can offer a sense is reassurance that something in our life is reliable.
Treat ourselves as we would a good friend. Cut ourselves some slack. We often offer our friends greater COMPASSION than we do ourselves.
Don’t wait until disaster hits to have a group of trusted health ADVISORS. Taking stock of who is on our health advisory board, such as a conventional doctor who has baseline blood test results and knows you are not a hypochondriac, a functional doctor, trusted sources of reliable information, and people you can reach out to when you have a question.
Build an EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYSTEM before we really need it. Find those meditations that can be our go-to when we get sad or frustrated, book our therapist or coaching session a month or two out when you know it will a tough season, queue up funny movies on Netflix, ask friends to check in on us, and plan something to look forward to 3-6 months out.
We cannot be “on” all the time. Something has to give, and usually, it’s our mental state or physical health. We need to build in downtime, scheduling it on our calendar if we have to. It’s not optional- some downtime is needed to RECHARGE.
Look back and REFRAME events so our narrative is supportive. Saying something to ourselves like, “Wow, that was a really tough event but I got through it” vs. complaining about it.
Being of SERVICE to others gets us out of our own heads. “Helpers high” is a real thing.
It’s critical to stay in CONNECTION with others. People with whom we can be 100% ourselves. People we can confide in. And people we will provide support to when needed.
Life is always UNCERTAIN. When have there ever been any guarantees??? That’s why the phrase, “in these uncertain times”, makes me want to scream!
We can do something every day to improve our HEALTH. Stop lying to ourselves and saying that we don’t have time to exercise or eat healthy. My dad used to say that the 3 pillars of enjoying life are health, wealth (not excessive, just enough to do what brings us joy), and time. So true.
NURTURE and LOVE our family members, both our nuclear and extended DNA-sharing family, and our chosen friends and loved ones who are also now family. This means making time for them, seeing them for who they really are, and enjoying them.
Taking time to APPRECIATE what is steady in life. For me, it is my husband, my community, my family, the beauty of Colorado, and much more.
Would love to hear your stories and lessons learned from 2020. REALLY! Call, text, or email me. Connecting with stories and shared emotions is so powerful.
Lastly, wanted to let you know I published a 3-month PLANNER on Amazon, called “A Daily Planner for Modern Humans (with Prehistoric Brains)”. It’s been a labor of love this last quarter. If you are looking for some structure to add to your daily, monthly, and yearly planning, along with tips on how to work with our prehistoric brains, I hope you will check it out!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Warmly,
Bijal
The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.
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Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC