Anguishing over languishing
From the NY Times to a Professor at Wharton, it seems many people are discussing the term “languishing”. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant defines languishing as “a sense of stagnation and emptiness.” Yikes! That’s no fun, but it’s a feeling that many are experiencing with the pandemic lock downs, resulting social isolation, and the ongoing mental toll of it all.
Even as I type this, I feel a pit in my stomach as this term rings true for me too. Not all day, every day, but certainly with some regularity.
Here’s my 1-2-3 coping mechanism to deal with my own up and down languishing state:
AWARENESS: becoming aware of what I am feeling is a necessary first step. In other words, “Name it to tame it!” How can I change things if I don’t know what I need to change?
FOCUS: it may seem counterintuitive, but taking time to focus on that feeling and acknowledge it can help it dissipate. I especially find it helpful to focus on where in the body I feel that emotion. Then, get curious about the feeling - its qualities, texture, motion, and color. What might this physical feeling need at this moment? As Brené Brown says, if you are disembodied from your emotion, it only grows. Finally, implement some actions. For me, this includes leaving my house twice a day, getting out in nature once a day, and finding ways to connect with one of my peeps daily.
REFINE: alas, there is no “one and done” with many feelings, such as languishing. So I check in weekly, and ask myself “What will help this week?” Knowing it may look different than the week before, is very helpful.
Can anyone else relate to this languishing feeling? If so, what are your coping mechanisms?
Warmly,
Bijal
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Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC