Don't Be Blind Sighted

Difficult situations show up no matter who you are. It doesn’t matter if you are at the top of your field, leading a team, or starting an exciting project. Inevitably, you WILL FACE A TOUGH SITUATION. Let’s be honest, not one but MANY tough situations.

Are you prepared? Or will you flail like my puppy Enzo did when he jumped in a pool, while attempting to get to safer ground?

Just like it’s not a good idea to wait until a medical emergency to find a trusted physician, don’t wait until hard situations are upon you to come up with your general FRAMEWORK for dealing with a sucky situation (my technical term).

I offer up this framework from Ryan Holiday, an author whose books I’ve been reading during an exploration into stoicism (which turns out has nothing to do with having a stoic, unfeeling personality luckily.) Ryan’s approach to a difficult situation: 

1)    MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS: be REALISTIC. Don’t get carried away with how you think things SHOULD be. And let go of the “perfect” outcome. Have FAITH that what will happen will be in service of your growth.

2)    ELIMINATE FEAR: shore up your COURAGE; don’t slither away like a garden snake. You’ve dealt with hard problems in the past and you’ll get through this too. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

3)    REMOVE PREJUDICE: this is so relevant to current societal discussions – broad prejudice, but one can also hold prejudice against specific situations, people, & interactions. TAKE TIME TO IDENTIFY YOUR PREJUDICE AND ACTIVELY REMOVE IT FOR THE SITUATION. 

And one step I would add to Ryan’s:

4)    UPGRADE YOUR MINDSET: Think positively about the people involved in your situation. Wish them well. What can you appreciate about them, no matter how small? I just read a study showing the positive impact on a people’s sense of well-being when they mentally wish others well. And ultimately, IF YOU ARE IN A BETTER MENTAL STATE, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO APPROACH THE SITUATION WITH THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. 

Of course, knowing a framework is one thing, but remembering it IN THE MOMENT, when you are triggered & stressed about a situation is the hard part. If it resonates, I encourage you to copy and paste this framework wherever you keep your notes. Modify it to meet your needs. Then when you have an awareness that an upcoming situation may be tough, you can easily refer back to it. This framework has done wonders to press the brakes on my unhelpful anticipatory thoughts that get in the way of my relationships, projects, and forward progress. 

Try it out and let me know how it goes.

Warmly,

Bijal

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Check out HuWork’s first online course “Lean into Strengths”. This 5-week course will walk you through how to find your edge, your comparative advantage relative to other people. What makes you really stand out and how will you use that to your benefit? The introductory price is $49 through September.  

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